I hope that someone finds my...

message in a bottle.... do, do, do, do, do..... message in a bottle... I actually don't like Sting that much and this song doesn't really have anything to do with my post, but it's what came to mind when I was trying to think of a title. I'm so glad it's Friday. I'm probably about 3/4 of the way through a job search, and it's so exhausting. Plus I feel so guilty about not being 100% present at my current job. It's at the point in the year where it's gotten a lot better, but I've decided the bad times outweigh the good and so I bit the bullet. I found out that I'm definitely getting offers from 2 places where I interviewed. The problem is that I don't really want to work at these places. I think I need to pray. Instead of blog. I'll be back.

wind

It is WILDLY windy today! And I love it! I would have taken the name Sr. Wind if it wasn't already taken. The windy weather is fitting for me today because it seems that the winds of change might be blowing through my life. I really dislike my job and have been thinking about looking for something new for a while. I put my resume up today and got a call about it within minutes. Literally. Then I went on this quasi-interview with a "head-hunting" agency. It all happened in such a whirlwind fashion, I don't yet know how I feel about it. If change is going to happen at all, I like it to happen slowly. Don't we all? Since I know that's not the way it works, I'm going to switch topics.

I just started Madeleine L'Engle's Walking on Water. I'm not yet 30 pages into it and I already love it. She says, "As far as I can see, the reproduction of chaos is neither art nor is it Christian." I often wish I had the soul and talent of an artist, preferably a musician. I love music and art. And I love this quote because it implies that there is such a thing as "bad" art. But that is another post for another time. What the few pages that I've read of this book really triggered inside of me was a question. How the hell did I get onto this path that I've chosen? And why do I stay here? I'm not talking about my choice of a spouse or of marriage over religious life (I love my DH more than ANYTHING - except God, of course, and couldn't imagine life without him). I am talking about my s0-called career. I never wanted a career. Why do I now have one? Sometimes I wish I could just run away from it all and go take ballet and poetry and music and creative writing classes and learn philosophy and theology and do completely useless, but beautiful, things for the rest of my life. Of course, I know the answer to this question. I'm so easily influenced by the opinions of others. But now, when these winds come blowing through my life, I wonder if I should take this plunge, or at least move in that direction? And I wonder what would be less cowardly - to pursue something in which I have no experience, about which I know very little but at the very idea of which my little heart beats a little more quickly, or to stick with this tried and true path that, among other things, would probably be the best and most sensible thing for my newborn family. Mrs. L'Engle again has inspiration to offer: "Jesus, too, had to make choices, and in the eyes of the world some of his choices were not only contrary to acceptable behaviour, but were foolish in the extreme." Now there's some food for thought.

Musings from our treehouse

So I was in our treehouse last night with Hubby and a bunch of friends, and we were having a convo (as we have been known to do) about God. I went to the Easter Vigil at St. Dominic's this year with Hubby and family, and I was really disturbed by a comment that the priest made during his sermon. He was welcoming the catechumens to the parish family and compared the parish to God, who welcomes us with His wide open arms "or her wide open arms." Her. So I went home and broke out the catechism. It says that "God is pure spirit in which there is no place for the difference between the sexes. But the respective 'perfections' of man and woman reflect something of the infinite perfection of God: those of a mother and those of a father and husband." First of all, I think it's quite telling that the catechism specifically says that God contains the perfections of a husband but not of a wife. Was the reference to wife left out by accident? I don't think so. I think this cuts to the heart of why it is not appropriate to refer to God using feminine pronouns. In order to understand my argument, one must first accept the premise that there is a difference between the masculine and the feminine. Those words mean two different things. The masculine soul is the initiator, the leader. God is the ultimate initiator, our creator, the first mover. Because of this, I believe it is more appropriate to refer to God using masculine pronouns. I think this is a point of great theological significance. But as my friend pointed out to me last night, in the words of St. Augustine, God is more unlike us than He is like us. Anyways, just a concept that has been pretty heavily on my mind recently.

To blog or not to blog...

That is the question. I've been toying with the idea for a while, just to have a creative outlet, you know? I'm worried, among other things, that I might become too obsessed or something. But I decided to take the plunge, just to have the option open if inspiration strikes. I can always just not post, right?